Eddie Speaks Out
RG is off doing some fool thing and he asked me would I be down with writing the blog today. And since you probably heard about me on this blog I figured it'd be a good chance for me to be heard first person instead of quoted.
That's right, it's me...Eddie. You know, RG's "disgustingly good-looking African-American best friend." At least he got that part right! He said I could talk about anything I want, so buckle up, kids!
So I was on my way to a gig the other day (that would be "musical performance" to you non-musician types) and I drove past this guy standing on the sidewalk who was holding up a sign that said, "God hates fags!" Big letters. Sloppy. Kind of like the guy himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's holding this sign and drinking from the biggest cup I've ever seen. Must'a been the gallon soda they's sellin down at the 7/11 for forty-nine cents.
And what's up with that? I mean it costs you a buck fifty for a 16 oz. soda, or for a nickle more you can get a gallon? Okay, so I exaggerated, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, the guy spots me and the way he stared I figured his "god" must hate me too. Funny thing about that, because the only God I know doesn't hate anybody.
The gig was in LA so I headed out St. Rose Parkway onto I-15 and merged into traffic. About that...see I have a really fast car. Nah, you don't need to know what kind except that it's probably faster than yours. So when I said I "merged" what I meant was I pretty much left everyone else behind. Hey, like my daddy always told me, "Son, it's harder to hit a moving target." Just practicing defensive driving is all.
So I'm driving along and this young lady comes up behind me in one of those little BMW sports cars. You know, the Z-something or another? She whips around and pulls up beside me. Lots of blonde hair under a pink baseball cap. She looks over and sorta nods her head like, "You wanna race?" I smile, nod my head back and she takes off like she was shot out of a rocket! Of course I'm not gonna race, you think I'm stupid?
About five miles down the road I see her pulled off to the side, standing outside her car doing her best to look, well, enticing to the young Nevada State Trooper. And she was wearing next to nothing, but the boy wasn't having none of it. I waved politely as I drove by. She didn't wave back. Actually she chose a finger and showed it to me and I'm not sure why.
Yeah, man, so I'm driving along and I look over on the floor on the passenger side and my gun case is sitting there. I enjoy target shooting and I have a gun. A big gun. Look, you gonna have a gun might as well make it substantial, right? I couldn't remember leaving it there so I steadied the car and reached down and picked it up. I keep it in one of those hard plastic, foam lined cases. I popped the clasps and opened it up to see if the gun was inside. It was.
Apparently I had drifted over into the next lane because some impatient, overly rude fella in a big, black FORD truck let me know that he took exception to me drifting over into his lane. He pulls up along side of me, rolls down his window and starts to give me a piece of his mind...and then he sees the gun. I didn't know those FORD's were that fast. I mean it was kinda funny, but it made me mad because I just became another statistic...just another brother with a gun! It was funny though.
Any of you folks decided who you voting for come November? As you are probably aware from reading a couple of RG's posts, I'm supporting Obama. Yeah, man...Obama '08! Even with all the recent nonsense about him dissin the people in Pennsylvania, which he didn't, and the stuff about his former pastor, I like the guy. I like the guy because I have a real hard time liking his "worthy opponent," as he puts it, and I have a hard time liking John McCain. Not that he isn't a nice guy, he's just not likable. And I figure it's high time we had a president that people could like. Actually I like Dubya and think he's been greatly misunderstood...but people don't like him and it's time for a change.
I just noticed that this has gotten really long and RG told me people don't like reading long posts, so I better stop. Nice chattin with y'all. Maybe he'll let me do this again if I get enough positive comments, cause I know vox is all about the comments.
Eddie
Black by popular demand.
Comments
I will be commenting on this post because I want you to come back and make another post. I always loved the stories of RG when you were in the scene. :-) Thanks for gracing us with your online presence!
Well then, welcome Eddie. Now, forgive me for being one to start trouble, but you could always have your own blog and do this more often. :-)
Curious if you have a weapon recommendation for a small-ish lady who enjoys the target shooting but also might like some protection since Miami is crazy. Everything that my Lovey has is a little outrageous for me. He's made suggestions as well, but just looking for more input.
Oh yes, and ha! I think the "gentleman" in the Ford may have shat his pants.
I agree. You should get a Vox. This post definitely qualified as interesting enough for you to be my neighbor! Good to finally hear from RG's "disgustingly good-looking African-American best friend." ;-)
Don't listen to them Eddie, it's all a ploy by that sneaky " disgustingly good writerly friend" of yourse to get you to get your own vox.
Nice ter meetcha, tho!
Love the lonnnng post! I vote you start your own blog, Eddie!
I'm Lorri from way downunder - and I giggled at your post - so if you can make a downunder girl smile you definately should have your own blog.
Thanks Ryan, for sharing your friend with us :)
xo